“If I speak with tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love,
I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
And if I have the gift of prophecy, and know all the mysteries and all knowledge;
And if I have faith, so as to move, mountains,
but do not have love, I am nothing.
And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I deliver my body to be burned,
But do not have love, it profits me nothing.
-1 Corinthians 13:1-3
Without loving intentions, no matter how nice your words, it means nothing. If you have the power to move mountains it means nothing without love. If you give to the poor and sacrifice your life without love it means nothing. Love is the first and last chapter of life. We are born out of a mother’s love to bring a fetus to end of term to produce a child from her womb. Also when we die it is only love that survives and goes back to God the source of nature. This is why I believe love is the only power that matters.
Many couples struggle to maintain power and control over each other and lose the real love. I know in my relationship when I turned to loving more. I gave up my concept of what I thought a relationship should be to what my partner’s needs were. I started to create reflections of love by looking beyond my needs. I began to see the language that my partner spoke when she needed and expressed love.
When we can step outside our selfish ways and focus on the needs of our significant other, we start to move from power struggles about right and wrong to serving each other’s needs. We start to awaken to deeper aspects of love. As I discovered and practiced what my partner considered loving behavior, I witnessed the return of loving actions coming back to me. I started to take note of what she felt was caring behavior, like taking time to listen to her in conversation; giving her time alone when she needs it; not discounting her opinion, and so on. Learning the little things that mean a lot to her, I was able to start to build back the love that was seeping through the cracks of emotional upsets.
Below are some ways to sharpen the love in your life:
Listen, Listen: Take time to listen to your loved ones. I know it’s hard at times when you are busy and have lots to do, but if you don’t take time you will miss out on knowing what matters the most to the ones you love.
Learn your partner’s language of love: When she tells you what love means to her, make it your goal to practice doing what makes her feel loved. You can’t get what you are not willing to give. Giving love means something different to everyone, so learn your partner’s language of love and be willing to try and understand their nature.
Bring back the flame: As time passes with love we sometimes fall out of passion for love and don’t know what to do. If you can take some time to remember what brought you together in the beginning, you can start to rekindle your love flame by doing the things you remember in the past to show your loved ones you appreciate her. Even if you feel it won’t work, try it anyway. You will be surprised as to what simple gifts like flowers and a walk on the beach can do to stir up the old flame.
Be Honest: This is a hard one for many of us. But when you tell the truth, you open the door for healing deep wounds that is keeping you from loving your fullest. Mistrust is held with you first and even though the other person might not know, eventually all comes to the surface. Try to live your life with the least regrets and you will pass on with more love in your soul.
100%/100%: Most people think love is 50/50, but if you want more love why not give 100 percent. Each one hundred percent might be different depending on your circumstances and as I mentioned before, it’s the intention behind what you do that counts. Why not put more love in if you want more love coming your way. Eventually you will find the place where the giving becomes more that the getting.
