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Roasting Cockroaches

As strange as it might sound, as weird as you might think, as much as you might cringe your nose, these things happened twenty five years ago, and though you might not have a need to do that today, at least you will understand why it was so useful back in the 1940’s and 50’s.

Now please pee on my foot. Yes, it was usually boy to boy and girl to girl, but under extreme circumstances, you did not care who pissed on your leg, belly, back, or foot because the sting of the “aguamala” (Portuguese Man of War) was unbearable. Those of you who know the man of war also know that it gives you a terrible burning sensation that makes a man cry. Stop crying, for the remedy to ease the pain was fresh, warm urine. Honestly, I don’t know if it was the warmth or any acids or alkaline, but it worked whenever there was no doctor around. Trust me, when the man of war sting was killing you, you did not mind if someone peed on your face.

“Maria, our child is chewing tobacco in the kitchen,” said dad with alarm. “Don’t worry honey. I gave him the tobacco to stuff it into his tooth because he has a terrible tooth ache.” They were right because twenty five years ago with no analgesic pills to kill a toothache, tobacco smoke or the juice did an excellent job in easing the nightmare of a toothache.

So my friends, kill the cockroaches and preserve them. When you go swimming during the man of war season, have someone around with a full bladder. And instead of smoking those sickening cigars, conserve them for use when your child has a killing toothache. Bingo.

– by Angel Nuñez, Columnist

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