“You are responsible for what you say, and also what do not say.”
In last week’s column I wrote about clearing emotional baggage. One of the tools I discussed was traveling through your fears. Feel the fear and do it anyway. Little did I know how much those words really meant. In fact, I came across a whole book with that same title by author Susan Jeffers, Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway. If you have any fears you are trying to work through this is a great read. Her book discusses a level of responsibility that is key to taking back your power and reclaiming control of your life. As long as you are living and growing fear will be a part of your life. How you manage it is what makes life an adventure instead of torment.
You never have control about what goes on in the exterior world, but you can control how you respond to it. Truth is however you are living you are consciously or unconsciously choosing that way of life. If you are in a lousy job, hate your relationship, can’t stand your home surroundings, whatever situation you are in, you picked it. I know it’s hard to accept this, but whatever is going on in your life that you don’t like, realize that you, only you are the cause of your feeling that stops you from experiencing joy. Since whatever you feel you feel only on the inside. The fear of taking charge of your life is also your decision to accept your circumstances and not move beyond.
Working through fears means taking responsibility and not blaming anyone for your being, doing, having or feeling. When you get right down to facts. No one makes you feel but you. Your brain, emotions, physical body is what generates your feelings, so if you allow people or outside forces to make you feel one way or the other, you have given enormous power outside yourself. OK… I have prattled on enough about taking responsibility and we all find ourselves acting as irresponsible children at times. We need constant reinforcements of ways to be responsible adults. I leave you with this list by Susan Jeffers with a few of my own on how to take back your power and face your fears;
Avoid casting blame on an external force for your bad feelings about life. Nothing outside yourself can control your thinking or your actions.
Avoid blaming yourself for not being in control. You are doing the best you can, and you are on the way to reclaiming your power.
Be aware of when and where you play the victim role. Learn the clues that tell you that you are not being responsible for what you are being, having, doing, or feeling.
Familiarize yourself with your biggest enemy your Chatterbox (your minds chatter) create positive affirmations to focus on your internal dialogue.
Figure out the payoffs you have that keep you “stuck.” Once you find them you will be able to quickly become “unstuck.”
Determine what you want in life and act on it. Stop waiting for someone to give it to you. You’ll be waiting a long time.
Be aware of the many choices you have – in both actions and feelings – in any situations that come your way. Choose the path that contributes to your growth and makes you feel at peace with yourself and others.
Recognize that you are the sole determinant of the choices you make. Listen to yourself and make your own decisions.
Recognize that you choose your responses to the people, actions, and events in your life. Your interpretation is the one that counts.
Let go of anger, fear, blame, mistrust, and insecurity. Holding these concepts stops you from pursuing your life.
Take risks and to become vulnerable to change and growth in your life. Go for what’s in your heart.
Realize that you are the party in charge of the direction your life takes. You and you alone are the director of your destiny.