“There is nothing more likely to start disagreement among people or countries than an agreement” -E.B. White
How often have you heard or said the following. “But I thought we had an agreement?” Usually this phrase means you had everything but an agreement. Fulfilled agreements are the cornerstone of all great relationships. Most of us make contracts on a daily basis to ourselves and others. We don’t know we are doing it sometimes but every conversation can lead to an agreement of some sort. We are often asked by friends’ family and loved ones to fulfill some obligations. We plan to do things for ourselves, plot goals and desires daily.
Think carefully before you make an agreement. It is much easier to not make an agreement than it is to get out of one you no longer want to keep. An agreement is anything you have said you would do, or anything you have said you would not do. Typical agreements that couples need to make for their lives to run smoothly range from mundane things like “who does what” to important agreements about how they express their sexuality with people outside of their relationship.
Keep agreements you have made, no matter how seemingly insignificant they are. Often we operate as though breaking an agreement while having a good intention to keep it is the same thing as keeping an agreement. Or that having a good excuse why we didn’t keep the agreement is the same as keeping an agreement. Breaking agreements, making excuses, or ignoring them is an energy drain. Keeping or consciously changing agreements saves time, frees up creativity energy, and allows us to be in healthy integrity with ourselves.
Below are some simple ways to keep your contracts and live with integrity:
1. KEEP YOUR WORD
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
2. DON’T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
3. DON’T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
4. ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are tired as opposed to well rested. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.
5. BE SKEPTICAL, BUT LEARN TO LISTEN
Don’t believe yourself or anybody else. Use the power of doubt to question everything you hear: Is it really the truth? Listen to the intent behind the words, and you will understand the real message.
Excerpt from “Secrets To Life Book” by Chris Emmanuel
Book available at Chris Emmanuel Art Gallery (Sunbreeze Hotel) and Pages Book Store