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Your Shadow

 Thank your teachers! Any situation or person that causes you discomfort, pushes your buttons, or requires you to stretch, is a teacher, because it is showing you where spiritual work is needed. Take each opportunity to ask: who do I want to be in this situation? How can I respond from Love, Blessings, and Wholeness? This changes everything! – Petra Weldes

Often, when we don’t accept what is in our character we praise and despise in others. Our shadow side (traits in ourselves we suppress) show up in others around us to teach us about ourselves. I am sure you have people in your life you struggle with. Frustrated, you often wonder why you have such difficult individuals in my life.

Eastern teachings suggest that those who, anger, irritate, frustrate and attempt to sabotage us are our greatest teachers. They call these people noble friends, because they reflect back to us what we need to learn about ourselves.

When you are able to see difficult people as teachers, it allows you an opportunity to discover how to deal with negative aspects of yourself. Fact is, somehow you must have attracted this individual into your life.

For example: Where I live there was a certain individual that troubled me. For years I struggled with the understanding of why. It wasn’t until I stopped trying to understand his way that I came to see him in me. The things I thought he was, I was also. I was judging him for parts of me I did not like. One day I realized that he probably thought the same resistance of me. He became one of my greatest teachers because I could finally detach my emotional response from him.

When you can accept others without judgments and answers you open to expand your definition of the infinite variety of the source of creation. If you get upset with what someone says to you, it is because you can’t separate yourself from what they are saying. It isn’t what someone says or does to you short of physical violence, that affect you- only your identifying with what they say affects you.

Many times the reasons you are affected by what others say is related to a past problem situation in your life. The problem will keep coming up until you can face it and move from it. Why allow other people’s ideas to affect you? Why allow another’s persons problem to affect you. By accepting what they say, you only hurt yourself.

Next time you are dealing with someone that’s difficult, put yourself inside his or her mind. What is this person’s position? What is he/she actually saying? Why won’t they support you? What is the agenda? By putting your needs aside and momentarily stepping inside another person’s mind you can discover who, he/she is. This allows you to see what there are afraid of.

Everyone wants something. Usually what people want is recognition and respect. Give people what they want. If they want you to help them feel secure, support them. The truth is when you are secure within yourself; you will find it easy to accept others without feeling troubled by their ideas and opinions.

Below are ways to embrace your shadow in others:
* One – Take a hard look at yourself and why that problem affects you personally. Is it related to some problem in your past? Is it a part of you, you are denying?
* Two – Review the person’s action or the situation and see how you are like that person or how you might react in the same situation.
* Three – Put yourself in the mind of the other individual by asking yourself the questions listed above.
* Four – Find your sense of security by going within yourself and centering. Then provide support for the individual within your means.

Excerpt from “Secrets To Life Book” by Chris Emmanuel
Book available at Chris Emmanuel Art Gallery (Sunbreeze Hotel) and Pages Book Store

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