“An apology is the superglue of life. It can repair just about anything.” – Lynn Johnston
Most of the time we feel we can control life. This is the illusion we all enjoy called choice. But truth is there is a bigger player orchestrating what we call life. Life happens whether we make plans or not.
When I was 39, I separated from my ex girlfriend and my five year old daughter. We had a rocky relationship that ended in anger on both sides. I never stopped loving my daughter, but my ex chose to keep her out of my life. Instead of fighting in court like so many couples, I chose to pay support and work on forgiveness with patience. I forgave her and hoped for the best. She never responded to my apologies.
Now ten years later, after constantly pouring love into every thought about my ex and daughter I finally got a response. July 21, 2010, I received a call that I could visit my daughter. The day we met my ex looked at me and said. “I am sorry”, with eyes that expressed forgiveness and understanding. Waves of relief washed over me. Two simple words wiped away years of residue resentment and anger. It takes extreme courage to say you are sorry and admit wrong doing. Forgiveness and compassion poured into my heart melting the stones of stuck emotions.
* Apology changes lives. I believe it can change yours. Like magic apology has the power to repair and mend relationships and heal broken hearts.
* Apology is a simple way to pour love into relationships you don’t understand and build new bridges where water has separated love.
* Apology cannot undo harmful actions, but if done sincerely can undo the negative emotions of those actions
* Apology helps the person who has been harmed feel emotional healing when acknowledged by the wrongdoer.
* Apology allows us to open the door for forgiveness because we can emphasize with the wrongdoer
* An apology release anger and helps us release the past.
* Apology opens the pathway to rekindle friendships. We feel free to be vulnerable and share intimacy.
* Apology allows us to develop a new image of the person, instead of seeing him/her through anger and bitterness. We are able to see them as human again.
Below are some key factors in making the power of apology work for you:
1. Be Honest: Sincerity is a key factor in expressing remorse. People Know when you really mean what you say. Words without heart are never accepted well.
2. Take Responsibility: You had a part in whatever went wrong. Own up to your responsibility if necessary. Most often it takes two to create a situation.
3. Allow time for forgiveness: Once you let the other party know you are sorry, allow them time to accept your apology. In the meantime think positive about the outcome and refrain from rehashing the past. Pour love into every thought you have of that individual or situation.
Excerpt from “Secrets To Life Book” by Chris Emmanuel
Book available at Chris Emmanuel Art Gallery (Sunbreeze Hotel) and Pages Book Store
